You've got to be kidding, it's what time again???
When I was a teenager growing up on our farm in Southwestern Pa., we had a rooster that would begin crowing at about 3:00am. I wanted to ring its neck and put it into a stew pot! If that wasn't bad enough after working my tail to the bone the day before, at about 7:00am my dad would start yelling "get up you farmers, the day is a wastin." I didn't have a pot big enough for him. Now I wake up because I have 8:00am classes. How do you ring your own neck?
Yeah, my day begins at 6:00am with me trying to decide whether or not to blow off class. Sorry teach, I am not a morning person. With much deliberation I decide to go to class. After all, I'm not sick. I have paid out HOW MUCH MONEY??? I might as well get as much as I can out of it. God I hate 8:00am classes.
Now that I have decided that I am going to class, I rise from my bed. Oh God I hurt. Now I know how Frankenstein felt when he got off the slab in the laboratory and why zombies walk the way they do. I could be one of them, I move like that.
I'm up and now on the path to the bathroom and as usual (on a daily basis) I kick Rowan, one of our dogs. She jumps up because I scared her, you'd think she would learn after 12 years not to lie in the path in the bedroom. Besides, I am blind as a bat without my glasses but noooo she gets kicked and I trip over her nearly breaking my neck. I give my dogs voices and Rowan's voice is a hillbilly with a sailor's mouth. Got that image? So after almost breaking my neck tripping over her and her giving my a look that could kill, I grab my towel and trudge into the bathroom.
I enter into the bathroom, turning on the light and instantly turn into Dracula on a sunny day. Damn that light's bright. Now I am being blinded by the light on top of not having my glasses on! This is just not fair.
Time to start the "becoming human" part of my ritual. I answer the call of "mother nature", yeah I am not going any further with that, you've got the picture. After I have shut her up, I turn to medicine cabinet scaring myself. For someone that doesn't wear makeup maybeI should! I really am scary this early in the morning. I could get arrested for this! I open and close my mouth at the same time trying to trying to wake up my salivary glands. It doesn't work, not too many things are awake right now.
I hate flossing. Flossing hurts, but needless to say, it needs to be done. With that done it is now time to PULL OUT THE BRUSHERATOR. I use Colgate toothpaste. I grew up on the stuff and boy does it wake your mouth up. I open the tube and squeeze out more that I probably should use. How much are you supposed to use? Anyway, I attack my mouth and teeth with a vengeance, brushing up and down, back and forth working up a lather like you wouldn't believe. I look like a rabid human, all I would have to do is growl and someone would try and shoot me. With my teeth brushed the next thing to do is the dreaded tongue and roof of the mouth brushing. Now I am a rabid, Gothic human beast that sounds like I am being killed slowly from the inside out.
Thankfully that is done, time to wake the rest of the body. I reach into the shower and turn on the hot water valve. During the week I generally have instant hot water. This morning I do. YES!!! I have to turn on the cold water just a little to temper down the hot water. After I get the water to the temperature I want it I turn on the shower head and then step in to the tub/shower, closing the curtain behind me. Oh the water feels so good. I feel my muscles loosening up. I turn around a couple of times letting the water hit me. I take my wash-cloth and soap and wet them under the shower head rubbing the cloth over the soap causing a nice lather.
Just like brushing my teeth, I scrub my body with a vengeance except there isn't any guttural growls that would make your hair stand up. I use this time to stretch myself out. This is the perfect time to do so. After a good scrubbing comes the rinse. My most enjoyable part of a shower. My skin is tingling from the scrubbing and the water now feels even better.
I turn off the water, open the curtain and grab my towel so that I can dry off. After drying I have to face myself in the mirror again before I can get the deodorant. Hmmmm, not so scary now, huh? With that done, I am off back to the bedroom to grab my clothes.
I stop at my wardrobe and grab my underwear and socks. I throw them on the bed as I head into the closet to get what I am going to wear. I have a lot of clothes but not everything fits. Though I think that is changing. Do I want to wear jeans and a T-shirt or shorts and a T-shirt? I am not awake enough for this. I go for my usual, shorts and a T-shirt. As I get dressed I can smell the coffee. By now it is finished brewing.I am dressed now. I grab my glasses and put them on. Then I grab my books and my back pack for my 8:00am class and head for the living room. I drop everything off on the desk and let my nose lead me to the fountain of coffee
. Nathan has learned, DON'T TALK TO ME UNTIL I HAVE HAD A GULP OF COFFEE. I am not nice before my coffee. I open the silverware drawer and grab a big spoon. I grab my creamer canister and open it, hmmm, I need to remember to buy creamer (yep this is a daily thought, and on a daily basis, I still forget to buy creamer). I spoon out a nice heaping spoonful into my coffee cup. I put that away lift my coffee cup up and push it to the coffee pot's dispenser. Oh what a wonderful sight....black, well almost, gold filling my coffee cup. The aroma is wonderful. My mouth is now watering, maybe I should drink coffee before brushing my teeth and showering. I don't think that would be a good idea. I would probably break my fool neck tripping over one of the kids (my dogs) or shoes or their toys. No, I can't take that chance.
With coffee in hand, my mouth is watering, my are eyes beginning to focus, I head to the couch. I sit down and reposition myself, making myself comfortable. Yeah, now I am comfortable, here comes the first taste of coffee. I make strong coffee. Oh the heated moisture rising from the cup with that fresh aroma both hitting my nose, the color of the liquid, oh God it is wonderful. The first sip, mmmmmm boy it's good. I hold it in my mouth just long enough to enjoy and so that I don't burn my throat when I swallow it. I finally let it go, swallowing my first gulp of coffee. It it goes down like the smoothest chocolate you have ever tasted. I am now sociable and can be talked to as I sit here watching the "Today Show."
It is now time for me to put on my watch and my shoes. I am now completely dressed for class. I grab my books, shove them into my backpack, grab my keys, phone and wallet, all of which get thrown into my backpack. I tell Nathan and our kids goodbye. I do my mental checklist before leaving out the door; "keys, phone, watch, wallet, right books, check." Out the door and to the bus.
Being a student with 8:00am classes really bites, but when I don't have classes, I get more done in those two hours than most do in 2-3 times that amount of time. So I guess it pays off in the long run. I just hope I remember that tomorrow morning when this starts all over again.
Yeah, my day begins at 6:00am with me trying to decide whether or not to blow off class. Sorry teach, I am not a morning person. With much deliberation I decide to go to class. After all, I'm not sick. I have paid out HOW MUCH MONEY??? I might as well get as much as I can out of it. God I hate 8:00am classes.
Now that I have decided that I am going to class, I rise from my bed. Oh God I hurt. Now I know how Frankenstein felt when he got off the slab in the laboratory and why zombies walk the way they do. I could be one of them, I move like that.
I'm up and now on the path to the bathroom and as usual (on a daily basis) I kick Rowan, one of our dogs. She jumps up because I scared her, you'd think she would learn after 12 years not to lie in the path in the bedroom. Besides, I am blind as a bat without my glasses but noooo she gets kicked and I trip over her nearly breaking my neck. I give my dogs voices and Rowan's voice is a hillbilly with a sailor's mouth. Got that image? So after almost breaking my neck tripping over her and her giving my a look that could kill, I grab my towel and trudge into the bathroom.
I enter into the bathroom, turning on the light and instantly turn into Dracula on a sunny day. Damn that light's bright. Now I am being blinded by the light on top of not having my glasses on! This is just not fair.
Time to start the "becoming human" part of my ritual. I answer the call of "mother nature", yeah I am not going any further with that, you've got the picture. After I have shut her up, I turn to medicine cabinet scaring myself. For someone that doesn't wear makeup maybeI should! I really am scary this early in the morning. I could get arrested for this! I open and close my mouth at the same time trying to trying to wake up my salivary glands. It doesn't work, not too many things are awake right now.
I hate flossing. Flossing hurts, but needless to say, it needs to be done. With that done it is now time to PULL OUT THE BRUSHERATOR. I use Colgate toothpaste. I grew up on the stuff and boy does it wake your mouth up. I open the tube and squeeze out more that I probably should use. How much are you supposed to use? Anyway, I attack my mouth and teeth with a vengeance, brushing up and down, back and forth working up a lather like you wouldn't believe. I look like a rabid human, all I would have to do is growl and someone would try and shoot me. With my teeth brushed the next thing to do is the dreaded tongue and roof of the mouth brushing. Now I am a rabid, Gothic human beast that sounds like I am being killed slowly from the inside out.
Thankfully that is done, time to wake the rest of the body. I reach into the shower and turn on the hot water valve. During the week I generally have instant hot water. This morning I do. YES!!! I have to turn on the cold water just a little to temper down the hot water. After I get the water to the temperature I want it I turn on the shower head and then step in to the tub/shower, closing the curtain behind me. Oh the water feels so good. I feel my muscles loosening up. I turn around a couple of times letting the water hit me. I take my wash-cloth and soap and wet them under the shower head rubbing the cloth over the soap causing a nice lather.
Just like brushing my teeth, I scrub my body with a vengeance except there isn't any guttural growls that would make your hair stand up. I use this time to stretch myself out. This is the perfect time to do so. After a good scrubbing comes the rinse. My most enjoyable part of a shower. My skin is tingling from the scrubbing and the water now feels even better.
I turn off the water, open the curtain and grab my towel so that I can dry off. After drying I have to face myself in the mirror again before I can get the deodorant. Hmmmm, not so scary now, huh? With that done, I am off back to the bedroom to grab my clothes.
I stop at my wardrobe and grab my underwear and socks. I throw them on the bed as I head into the closet to get what I am going to wear. I have a lot of clothes but not everything fits. Though I think that is changing. Do I want to wear jeans and a T-shirt or shorts and a T-shirt? I am not awake enough for this. I go for my usual, shorts and a T-shirt. As I get dressed I can smell the coffee. By now it is finished brewing.I am dressed now. I grab my glasses and put them on. Then I grab my books and my back pack for my 8:00am class and head for the living room. I drop everything off on the desk and let my nose lead me to the fountain of coffee
. Nathan has learned, DON'T TALK TO ME UNTIL I HAVE HAD A GULP OF COFFEE. I am not nice before my coffee. I open the silverware drawer and grab a big spoon. I grab my creamer canister and open it, hmmm, I need to remember to buy creamer (yep this is a daily thought, and on a daily basis, I still forget to buy creamer). I spoon out a nice heaping spoonful into my coffee cup. I put that away lift my coffee cup up and push it to the coffee pot's dispenser. Oh what a wonderful sight....black, well almost, gold filling my coffee cup. The aroma is wonderful. My mouth is now watering, maybe I should drink coffee before brushing my teeth and showering. I don't think that would be a good idea. I would probably break my fool neck tripping over one of the kids (my dogs) or shoes or their toys. No, I can't take that chance.
With coffee in hand, my mouth is watering, my are eyes beginning to focus, I head to the couch. I sit down and reposition myself, making myself comfortable. Yeah, now I am comfortable, here comes the first taste of coffee. I make strong coffee. Oh the heated moisture rising from the cup with that fresh aroma both hitting my nose, the color of the liquid, oh God it is wonderful. The first sip, mmmmmm boy it's good. I hold it in my mouth just long enough to enjoy and so that I don't burn my throat when I swallow it. I finally let it go, swallowing my first gulp of coffee. It it goes down like the smoothest chocolate you have ever tasted. I am now sociable and can be talked to as I sit here watching the "Today Show."
It is now time for me to put on my watch and my shoes. I am now completely dressed for class. I grab my books, shove them into my backpack, grab my keys, phone and wallet, all of which get thrown into my backpack. I tell Nathan and our kids goodbye. I do my mental checklist before leaving out the door; "keys, phone, watch, wallet, right books, check." Out the door and to the bus.
Being a student with 8:00am classes really bites, but when I don't have classes, I get more done in those two hours than most do in 2-3 times that amount of time. So I guess it pays off in the long run. I just hope I remember that tomorrow morning when this starts all over again.
No comments:
Post a Comment